Friday, August 24, 2007

I sent the following email to a few right-wing websites I found on the net (I used a made up name/email) :

Hello

Im into softball and I want to start up a team to play in the west midland leagues but I want it to be a proper English team. I think Im going to call the team The Bears or The Wolverines or after some other mighty hunter in the Nordic forests.

Ive got some mates who are up for it but theres not enough of us so Im gonna have to advertise. But i dont' want any forigners. I only want white English men and women. But how do I go about this without getting into trouble from the usual gang? I'd be grateful if you could give me some advice about how to go about forming a proper English team.

Ive got another problem to. I got this mate Gareth and hes the best softball player I know. But the problem is hes a Taff. Would it be OK to let him play even though he was born on the wrong side of Offas Dyke.

That brings me to my next question. Theres some gay teams in the league and dont laugh but theyre very good. It would be bloody embarassing to lose to them. Do you know any boys and girls who are good at softball who could play for us or coach us a bit?

Keep up the good work

Tom

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I got a couple of replies. Sadly the BNP and UKIP didn't bother. I was going to trawl the web looking for more places to send it to, but I found right-wing sites so weird and dispiriting I soon gave up:

Dear Comrade
Much as would like to help our knowledge of the game is slight so we have little advice to give. Good luck with your project.
14 Words BPP

Hi,

thank you for your e-mail and for trying to keep England for the English! Try advertising in whiter sections of your area and put emphasis on ENGLISH. May go as far as to say English heritage softball. List your phone # and when you get a call, ask the person what his heritage is....if he is non-white/english then tell him you will call him back and of course never call back. As to letting in a Welsh player join you, I see no problem with that. White is Right. Also, I honestly dont have any English contacts.
Axl

3 comments:

Alex A said...

Wonderful Matthew, truly wonderful. That's why UKIP and the BNP don't do so well in elections, the bastards don't answer their e-mails.

Paul said...

awesome.... you appear to have even more time on your hands than me!

but I have to disagree with one respondent... surely we don't want any Welsh Players :-)

Peter said...

Watch it Paul. There are more of them about than you think...